Blinded by Love
Blinded by love? I think NOT! Relationships that lead to lasting love require two people with a shared vision for what it is, what it takes and what they want.
What is your Vision?
Do you know what Love is? Have you defined what is required for Love to exist between two people? What do you want when you choose to love someone? These are important questions that each person must be able to answer before going full throttle in any relationship. And here’s why: Blind love doesn’t last. You know why? Because it’s two people that don’t know themselves or understand what it takes to create the love they think they want. Let me give you an example: I recently went to the optometrist and was told that I have 20/20 in my left eye and 20/40 in my right eye. Now, here is where it gets real interesting – when both eyes are focused on an object, I can actually see with a 20/20 vision. If two people both have at least a fair vision of what love is, what it takes and what they want, they have a much better focus on how to get there.
The beginning of anything new can be intimating, but come on, let’s be real – is anything more miraculous, and yet mysterious, as Love? In the earliest stages, it is all about vision: A vivid, imaginative anticipation of what could be. However, how often is our awareness of the truth before us a reality. There is often times a very misguided and inflated perception of reality with our vision. Why? Because we see what we want to see and how we want to see it. It’s difficult to naturally put ourself in someone else’s position. Women and men think very differently (and that’s putting it mildly). The value of learning how to recognize true depth of character, reality vs. fantasy, and interpretation of truth are tools that will enable you to fully see the partner before you.
Commit to the Vision
Now I’m sure when Michaelangelo was painting the Sistine Chapel, the early stages of his masterpiece were quite unclear to others around him, maybe even to himself at times. But he had a vision of what it could be and he didn’t give up before he completed it. So the next step in any healthy relationship is to commit to the potential of what it can be. We have the power to create our own reality. It requires faith in ourselves and tenancity through the obstacles that are sure to arise. There is no shortcut to extraordinary love. There is however, active moments that stem from a vision which then create a reality…maybe even a masterpiece. Stay focused on what you want and who you want it from. Don’t give up too quickly. Remember, that you have the power to create a lasting love, but it will require effort and commitment.
Take the Blinders Off
Communication is the key to gaining accurate perception. By talking about important topics, discussing the hot buttons, and expressing needs and desires we learn and we adapt. It’s like a horse that finally gets the blinders taken off, now instead of getting stuck in the same strict and boring routine – it’s given freedom to turn, twist and move with enormous confidence and renewed energy. Freedom to see the full picture and to understand it is a liberating power that changes us from the inside out. Get outside of your own personal box. It is much easier to see the other side and to understand it fully when you actually take the focus off yourself and place it on the other person and their opinions and feelings. Step into their box – take in their view, see it from another perspective. Engage in conversation that helps each of you have a clear picture of what is required to maintain momentum. Life is not a straight shot by any means. So until you remove the blinders and get a full view of the journey ahead, it’s pretty hard to know what it may require of you.
Love Requires Focused Vision
No two people are perfect. Let’s circle back to my eyes- my left is 20/20 and my right is 20/40. When I combine both eyes, my vision perfects itself to a balanced 20/20. Why is that? Focus. Ever heard that statement “Focus determines feelings.” In relationships, it will take two people dedicated to a vision, aware of each other and themselves, combined with communication and a whole lot of focus. I can’t promise a happily ever after for everyone, but I can guarantee you find what you are looking for when you know what it is.