Peek Inside the Spring/Summer 2012 Issue: Real Love
Is this real LOVE or a BEAUTIFUL Distraction?
Just as spring is in the air, so is romance! Your friends are being swept off their feet one by one and the only problem that you face today is that you are still standing upright, immovable. For some reason, you are having difficulty releasing your heart to the guy you have been dating. Yes, you are having fun with this guy, but (for some reason) you can’t seem to shake the million dollar question : Could this be love or is he simply a beautiful distraction?
- Ties are easily cut. Truth be told, ties may not have been there from the beginning. If he were to cut ties with you today, you may notice the space he occupied, but you won’t necessarily miss him. Perhaps he dropped by with movies and take out on Friday nights? You’d notice that you now have this open time, but you now feel the, “oh, well…I’ll have to do without,” feeling.
- Consideration of his feelings is rare. It is rare that his feelings are thought of when you make decisions. If you choose to go to bed without giving him a call, you tell yourself that he will be okay. If he starts to complain about your behavior, it just makes you irritated. As a matter of fact, you probably become more irritable when he does something that you told him you don’t like. You may even find yourself becoming less and less filtered the longer you two are together. You may know that you are hurting his feelings, but you just cannot seem to control the urge to let him know why he is getting on your nerves.
- Quality time takes convincing. Unless you are used to him by now, you may find that you talk yourself into doing things like having lunch with him, going to the movies with him and spending quality time with him. Even though you know that the last date was fun, he has to really convince you (somehow) that the next date will be fun too, well – that’s if you don’t have any plans that night. Then, going out sounds like a better option than its alternative.
- He gets moved to second place, most times. This is probably the easiest of all the others to recognize. When the man with “love potential” wants your time and space, Mr. Meantime gets moved to second place…immediately! When Mr. Love Potential (LP) calls, Mr. Meantime goes on hold, indefinitely. You may even find yourself breaking long standing dates with Mr. Meantime for a last minute date with Mr. LP.
- It’s just not there. It is funny, but you knew this from the beginning, yet you still allowed him to share your time and space. Do you remember when the two of you first met? You could rattle off a list of reasons why this would never work! You knew that he clearly wasn’t ambitious, he wasn’t intellectually stimulating, he may not have been attractive, he may have been blatantly rude, and/or he may have seemed obviously immature. Whatever your list held, you were certain that they were deal breakers YET; somehow you were convinced to just give him one date, one lunch, or one afternoon.
Girlfriends, learn to be honest with yourself and then honest with Mr. Meantime. Do your best to pay attention to the signs as early on as possible so that you are able to tell him what your real intentions are for the direction of the relationship. As you would enjoy knowing if you were Miss Meantime, you should grant him the same sense of sincerity so that he is better able to make his own decisions to stay along for the ride, or to move forward. It only makes things less complicated for both of you in the long run. Good luck to each of you!